You're so nebulous sometimes
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
