Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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