What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
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He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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