We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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