Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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