I am in a vortex of obligation.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
