Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
