you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
