I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
