airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Randomize
