problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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