Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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