you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
