How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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