I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
