So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
