I'm going to jail i love you
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
