So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
This house was built for laser tag.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
