So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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