How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize