One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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