I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
