I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
