hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I stole a fireplace last night.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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