I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
