Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
