i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
