is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize