barbara walters just said penis...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
