Who wears a wallet chain?!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
