I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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