Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
