you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My boob is missing a layer of skin
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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