She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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