ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
