I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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