Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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