Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
