bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
