My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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