Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
