He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dicks are not precious.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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