I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
