whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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