Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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