i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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