so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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