Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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