i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize