Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
