Im at strip club and am horny
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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