Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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