State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
