You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
