under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize