yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize