Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I deserve this hangover.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
