Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize