He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize