I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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