i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
