Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
