i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
