Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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