Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
