I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
