is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
